He may look mellow, but Joe Wurzelbacher told the media he’s “completely flabbergasted” by the attention he’s eliciting.

To be flabbergasted means to be struck dumb with astonishment and surprise, to be astounded. There are not degrees of flabbergastation. It’s an absolute: You either are or you aren’t.

In the competition for headlines and eyeballs and voters this season, we’ve been subjected to many needless intensifiers. When discussing the economy, McCain described a “very, very serious, most serious crisis.” Tom Brokaw talked about a “deep crisis.” And Steve Kroft said Americans are “totally engaged” in the presidential campaign.

Chill out, guys. Your willy-nilly use of adjectives doesn’t add any excitement; it just makes you sound foolish.

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For the record, flabbergasted was first recorded as slang in the late 18th century. The first part of the word may be based on the word flabby – that is, you’re so astonished that you shake like jelly (and possibly pee your pants). The second part may well come from aghast, meaning struck with shock or amazement, filled with fright or horror. The word conveys a kind of shock that has physical ramifications.

Which makes it strong enough to have no need of intensifiers, Joe.

(And by the way, we were flabbergasted to learn you’re not actually a plumber.)