Dave Letterman quizzed Lauren Conrad on her ex-boyfriend, Brody Jenner, the other night.

“What about that Brody guy. What’s his deal?” Letterman asked. “What does he do?”

Conrad struggled to answer. “Well, he…he…um…he’s very good looking.”

That’s when Letterman cut to the chase. “Let me just tell you something about Brody. If there was no television, this guy would be living in a tree.”

While we appreciate Letterman’s candor, his grammar is less laudable. When you’re describing a condition contrary to fact — such as the absence of television — you’re using the subjunctive mood, which requires the verb were, not was.

Perhaps The Hills, which is considered reality TV despite plenty of manufactured elements, has old-school Letterman a bit confused as to what’s true and what’s contrary to fact.

Here’s an example: If Jenner were to work a full-time job, he wouldn’t get such slack. If Jenner and Conrad were still dating, she would’ve come up with a more convincing defense.