Sen. Joe Biden should have submitted his speech to a few more editors before going live tonight. Linguistically, it was the sloppiest of the DNC’s keynoters.

First there was the reference to his late father. “I wish that my dad was here tonight,” Biden said.

Anytime you describe a condition contrary to fact, you’re using the subjunctive mood, which requires the verb were, rather than was. Here’s a clue that you’re in the subjunctive: You’ve begun your sentence with “I wish.” (I wish Biden were reading this.)

Then there were the plural pronouns that Biden linked to singular nouns and pronouns, a grammatical error previous keynoters were careful to avoid. (Hillary Clinton, for example, spoke of helping “every child live up to his or her God-given potential.”)

In articulating what every young Democrat apparently hears from his parents, Biden said, “We were told that anyone can make it if they try.” Anyone is a singular pronoun, so Biden should have said, “Anyone can make it he or she tries.” That may not sound as smooth, but it’s grammatically correct. If you don’t like the sound, rework the sentence. But please don’t settle it by throwing out a they.

Biden ran into another problem with plural-singular consistency when describing his mother’s advice to him. “When I got knocked down by guys bigger than me, she sent me back out and demanded that I bloody their nose so I could walk down that street the next day.” These guys may be big and scary, but surely they do not share a nose.

Biden also misused the r word, react, while previous DNC speakers have correctly used respond. “You can learn an awful lot about a man campaigning with him, debating him and seeing how he reacts under pressure,” Biden said of Sen. Obama.

A reaction is a sudden, spontaneous response to a stimulus, such as shrieking, shouting, laughing or crying. It is not a synonym for opinion, judgment or any kind of measured response.

Surely Obama reacts to campaign pressure. Perhaps he sweats. Maybe he cusses. But that kind of impulsive behavior is not what Biden intended to describe. He was referring to high-road responses and wise decisions in the face of campaign pressure. Instead he got us wondering how, in the moment of heat, Obama reacts to stimulus. And that’s not something a politician would want us to ponder.
Lastly, Biden noted Obama’s fiscal record: “…because Barack made that choice, working families in Illinois pay less taxes, and more people have moved from welfare to the dignity of work.”

Any phrase upset your ear? Taxation without representation — that is, taxes that weren’t properly represented.

Here’s the rule on less versus fewer. If you can count items individually, use fewer. If not, use less. Taxes are countable. That’s what makes them so odious; we count those dollars and are painfully aware of just how many we fork over. (An alternative wording would have been “lower taxes” to convey a lower dollar amount.)

If Biden had made fewer linguistic mistakes, our perception of him would be less jaded.