Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez stepped up to the plate this morning and responded to his wife’s demand for divorce. In court documents filed today, A-Rod admits that his marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

It’s an interesting stab at legalese, but it does not work. Something that’s irretrievable cannot be retrieved. It means “difficult or impossible to retrieve or recover.” A ring that slips down the drain is irretrievable. The Iowa flood rendered furniture and personal items irretrievable, beyond recovery. It does not make sense for something — be it a marriage or a bed frame — to be broken irretrievably unless the pieces were swept away by a tornado and they cannot be located.

The adverb A-Rod and his overpaid attorney were grasping for is “irreparable,” which means not reparable or irremediable. It makes sense to say a marriage is broken irreparably, that is, so broken it’s beyond repair.

Our thanks to the irreparable, irretrievable, incorrigible A-Rod for providing so much blog fodder.